I was sending a reply email to a good friend who simply asked me about where my personal life is going. She asked if there are any butterfly sparks she should know and instead of giving her a clear categorical answer, i ended up giving her a blog piece.
...I dont have much faith in sparks and chemistry anymore. I guess im just passed that. Somehow, somewhere in the middle of all the fantasies lodged in my reality--or better yet, realities lodged in my fantasy, i have realized that blissful romance cannot exist! If it does, it wont last and sooner or later one is always bound to get hurt. No im not closing my doors, nor am i being sarcastic or bitter. Im being truthful and honest. I mean, if we are to find someone who can be with us as our lifetime partners, watching sunsets, making our coffee more meaningful, or even just someone to make us coffee...then the sparks flying cannot sustain all that, it simply will not hold, it wont last....but the companionship, the 'thereness' is simply what counts... :)
Now im not sure if this is really what being 31 sounds like....but if it is, im not disagreeing. I think its about time i cut back on the dreams and start living in the real world.
2 comments:
You're right friend, sparks can't sustain!The THERENESS is whats important! Life is about triumphs and fiascoes, falling in and out of love and at the same time sustaining it....What i really want to tell you is this blog entry moved me immensely. Everything about it is so true and i can speak with so much validity cause I'm the one married and i'm the one who is making coffee. My dear, all that is so true and you too can have that life. God knows our desires and He knows perfectly when and how to give it.
Hi maje. Abad ni. Your blog's great, as always. Im learning you.
Do u remember CArson McCullers' The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter sa Bobby Long?Ive read it, kit-an nako booksale. I live uptown now, lahug dapit, if you're interested and wa pa kay copy, i can give it to you sa inyo gyud hauz sa fuente, if didto pamo, or trade ta with anything u have he he.
How's your doctoral paper?Pabasa niya, like before. Anyway I quit school ha ha, and work as a janitor sa St. John Center, which means i go to church now and am less insane,:-) sort of partly thanks to you, and this blog.
I wish I can talk with u again soon. Like sa Bos ba, where i c u most often. :-)Text lang ha, good day.
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