Friday, July 16, 2010


It was a little over a year ago when i made my last entry and vowed to quit blogging. And i successfully forgot my password, username and blog site until earlier today when i opted to make a comment on a friend's blog. It was all out of courtesy and good will and the next thing i knew when i left my username was that my blog was in plain view.

I remembered, i read, i reminisced, until i finally decided to write again...

If anybody had a heart at all...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Turning Japanese

Arrived in Japan about ten days ago and i have been trying to contain my excitement of finally being here. For as far back as i can remember, i have always been fond of the place, and to actually be here in the flesh, all expense paid at that, makes it even more amazing. I have to thank my sponsor, The Sumitomo Foundation, for this trip of a lifetime.

Of course this is all in relation to my dissertation that is a comparative study of east and west philosophy. I have immersed mysels in Kamakura, Japan. The one place that i have forever been reading about. I explored every inch hoping to take in as much as i can and try to remember every detail. The place is just beautiful. No amount of reading can ever suffice to the actual experience i have had in the last couple of days.

I am eternally thankful for grace.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Be Still

Two words have been impressed on me lately, be still. The last three weeks, i have learned to be still because i've been sick on and off. I had to stop my class preparations and cut back on my hangin out--which actually translates to long hours at starbucks reading or making notes for lecture or staying at a friend's house on sunday evenings watching movies or simply talking till almost midnight.

I literally had to be still and just lie in bed for three days. I was vomiting, had fever, migraine, upset stomach, body pains, yet after the aches subsided i somehow reflected on the whole scenario and i came up with the fact that, i actually learned to be still.

At thirty-one, i have been very busy. My classes and my research have consumed much of my time and i am left with nothing else. I must admit i was groping, too consumed by my work and was in all honesty, lost. I barely even had time to pray. But somehow in those three days that i was in bed sick, i woke up in the middle of the night feeling very strangely nauseated i had to hold fast to my prayers that i would get through the night.

Perhaps God has ordained that time for me to be still. If it takes a sickness to draw me closer then perhaps that is what ought to be done. If it takes nausea to finally find the time, then im thankful for the pain and the discomfort. Being still brought me close, it healed me, and made me find my way back home.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Happy New Year

Its been a while since i last made an entry. I had to delete a few. Its quiet times for majebeing. I am standing on the clearing of my thrownness...

happy new year...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Should There Be Butterflies?

I was sending a reply email to a good friend who simply asked me about where my personal life is going. She asked if there are any butterfly sparks she should know and instead of giving her a clear categorical answer, i ended up giving her a blog piece.

...I dont have much faith in sparks and chemistry anymore. I guess im just passed that. Somehow, somewhere in the middle of all the fantasies lodged in my reality--or better yet, realities lodged in my fantasy, i have realized that blissful romance cannot exist! If it does, it wont last and sooner or later one is always bound to get hurt. No im not closing my doors, nor am i being sarcastic or bitter. Im being truthful and honest. I mean, if we are to find someone who can be with us as our lifetime partners, watching sunsets, making our coffee more meaningful, or even just someone to make us coffee...then the sparks flying cannot sustain all that, it simply will not hold, it wont last....but the companionship, the 'thereness' is simply what counts... :)
Now im not sure if this is really what being 31 sounds like....but if it is, im not disagreeing. I think its about time i cut back on the dreams and start living in the real world.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Birthday Gift

I heard that sometimes the most beautiful thing to do is to give. And only when its really worth so much does the giving become more meaningful. I have been cradling this love and many times i found myself clasping it close, too scared to set it free, too tired to let it be ...

This time im ready to give it so it may grow. And this birthday i have given the greatest gift i could ever give in this life. And i guess what i heard is true. If its really special, if its sincere, and if its given from the heart, then, and only then, can one say she has truly loved.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

...only a fool would commit what he knows to language; much less would he put what he has learned into a form which is unrevisable and which can fall into the wrong hands, namely the form of a written text ... -Heidegger