Conviction of the Heart
I have been floating aimlessly for sometime now, trying to grasp my anchor. I have cast my grip on one too many fleeting pursuits that my life has been an endless tragedy of waiting. The truth is i will always end up frustrated and in terrible want if i stay the same. I have been told, i have been shown, i ought to commit and be redeemed.
There are too many mediocre things in this world that i must know what is the truth. I will never be contented, but i wll forever be dissatisfied. I will never be perfect for i am sinful by nature. I can never make it on my own, unless i rest my trust on God. That my presence in this world is never about me but about Him. That it is not my own toil, effort and hard work that will save me, but by the grace of God alone.
My life is absurd. My heart has labored much. My soul is weeping. I am broken. But because of the blood on the cross my being rejoices and i dance in thanksgiving.
I take heed in John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!"
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Elizabethtown
I kept seeing part of this movie on cable. Im not a big fan of Orlando Bloom or Kirsten Dunst, but since i had nothing better to do earlier, i opted to watch the film on HBO.
I seriously liked some parts of the movie. I enjoyed the epic conversation of Drew and Claire and i wondered if people were still crazy enough to indulge in such experience. For now, text messages, forwarded emails, and an easy forgetfullness of moments are what is convenient. Who would dare talk to someone, close to a complete stranger at that, and decide to meet in time for sunrise just to enjoy the view? Sometimes people have completely lost their faith on humanity and the simple pleasures of 'being there for that moment'. There has been too much analysis, too much data, that it actually ruins the beauty of spontaneity. And, still, i wonder more if people given our average everydayness, can still take the time to dance in the encounters we have of the people we meet everyday? Wouldn't it be a treat?
Another scene that I completely loved was the roadtrip. I love driving. I take that back, if i knew how and if i had a car, i would probably take that detour all the time and attempt to get lost on the road only to find leisure in finding my way back--with some music, of course! Yeah, if there's one thing i truly miss about my stint in the states,its the passenger seat i endeavored with my sister on the wheel. I wish i can just take off and drive somewhere far, just go on driving, and ride like the wind.
Elizabethtown was not really that spectacular, now that i have thought about it more. I even got bored along the way except for those two scenes that really hit home for me. I am honestly grateful for times like this, when i can appreciate what i watch and reflect it on my life. "We can be friends for the rest of our lives" - could have really been a great line worthy of meaning if they didn't meet again. But i guess Elizabethtown was more of a love story... i used it to reconnect with my being and it feels great to have generated enough thought to write this entry....
And im blabbing now. i think i just feel good. Two days ago a friend asked me what i did to my other blog, i told him i quit, after 6 years of documentation i quit, for the reason that i blabbed on too much...and its happening again...
I guess all i really wanted to point out are these questions:
how far would you go for a friend, for family, for yourself?
will you take the time to explore and do something you have been wanting to do for so long but never really got around to do it?
if you have the chance to make that one epic phone call, who would you be talking to?
and if somebody reached out, will you take the time to talk and listen?
I kept seeing part of this movie on cable. Im not a big fan of Orlando Bloom or Kirsten Dunst, but since i had nothing better to do earlier, i opted to watch the film on HBO.
I seriously liked some parts of the movie. I enjoyed the epic conversation of Drew and Claire and i wondered if people were still crazy enough to indulge in such experience. For now, text messages, forwarded emails, and an easy forgetfullness of moments are what is convenient. Who would dare talk to someone, close to a complete stranger at that, and decide to meet in time for sunrise just to enjoy the view? Sometimes people have completely lost their faith on humanity and the simple pleasures of 'being there for that moment'. There has been too much analysis, too much data, that it actually ruins the beauty of spontaneity. And, still, i wonder more if people given our average everydayness, can still take the time to dance in the encounters we have of the people we meet everyday? Wouldn't it be a treat?
Another scene that I completely loved was the roadtrip. I love driving. I take that back, if i knew how and if i had a car, i would probably take that detour all the time and attempt to get lost on the road only to find leisure in finding my way back--with some music, of course! Yeah, if there's one thing i truly miss about my stint in the states,its the passenger seat i endeavored with my sister on the wheel. I wish i can just take off and drive somewhere far, just go on driving, and ride like the wind.
Elizabethtown was not really that spectacular, now that i have thought about it more. I even got bored along the way except for those two scenes that really hit home for me. I am honestly grateful for times like this, when i can appreciate what i watch and reflect it on my life. "We can be friends for the rest of our lives" - could have really been a great line worthy of meaning if they didn't meet again. But i guess Elizabethtown was more of a love story... i used it to reconnect with my being and it feels great to have generated enough thought to write this entry....
And im blabbing now. i think i just feel good. Two days ago a friend asked me what i did to my other blog, i told him i quit, after 6 years of documentation i quit, for the reason that i blabbed on too much...and its happening again...
I guess all i really wanted to point out are these questions:
how far would you go for a friend, for family, for yourself?
will you take the time to explore and do something you have been wanting to do for so long but never really got around to do it?
if you have the chance to make that one epic phone call, who would you be talking to?
and if somebody reached out, will you take the time to talk and listen?
Monday, March 17, 2008
Music
Music is my passion. The closest philosopher i could think of with a penchant for music is Nietzsche and his taste for Wagner. Though they did not really end in good terms, but thats just Nietzsche being himself. I on the other hand, am amazed by how cultivated my ear for music have been over time.
I was always a sucker for romantic ballads, and the glam rock of the 80's just fueled my desire and coupled by a handful of teen-age angst, i was always either one of two things whenever i listened to RTZ, La Guns, Poison, Bon Jovi and the like -- Thought i was on top of the world or the world's biggest loser. The 80's new wave also made me got hooked to Flesh for Lulu, OMD, Till Tuesday, The Motels, Tears for Fears and DuranDuran tracks.. And then the 90's came and ushered artists like Wilson Philips, Amy Grant's HATS album was a huge favorite, and Lighter Shade of Brown's Sunday Afternoon became my official hip/trip song. And for some reason i felt untouchable. Towards the later part of the 90's i crossedover to Jazz and a little RnB. I pretty much settled for the music of Benoit, Tom Scott, Sergio Mendez, Spyro Gyra. And through the years i would listen to my all time favorites like U2, Sting, Everything But the Girl, Hall & Oats, Toto, and Mike Francis.
Today, though, its rare if i can even chance on their music. I no longer listen to the radio, and though i have all the CD's of the musicians mentioned above, i just dont go out of my way to listen to them. Im not anymore after the thrill i get once i listen to Climie Fisher's Rise to the Occassion or the goosebupms i have over 38 Special's Second Chance...these songs have had their tenure in my life and they will always be remembered. And i will always look back to them with fondness and maybe once in a while go back to them for reminiscence of who i was. But not right now.
For now i am more attuned to songs of worship. Never in a million years did i think i would get stuck listening to songs of praise. But i am and everyday for almost two years now, i play the songs of Matt Redman, Don Moen, Hilsong, Mercy Me, Katinas, Bob Fitts, Martin J. Nystrom, Chris Rice, Casting Crowns, and its only now that i have felt such peace. And my attitude when i listen to music is not anymore like i want to get high, its a rest for my soul, a refuge from the world, a moment of prayer.
Music is my passion. The closest philosopher i could think of with a penchant for music is Nietzsche and his taste for Wagner. Though they did not really end in good terms, but thats just Nietzsche being himself. I on the other hand, am amazed by how cultivated my ear for music have been over time.
I was always a sucker for romantic ballads, and the glam rock of the 80's just fueled my desire and coupled by a handful of teen-age angst, i was always either one of two things whenever i listened to RTZ, La Guns, Poison, Bon Jovi and the like -- Thought i was on top of the world or the world's biggest loser. The 80's new wave also made me got hooked to Flesh for Lulu, OMD, Till Tuesday, The Motels, Tears for Fears and DuranDuran tracks.. And then the 90's came and ushered artists like Wilson Philips, Amy Grant's HATS album was a huge favorite, and Lighter Shade of Brown's Sunday Afternoon became my official hip/trip song. And for some reason i felt untouchable. Towards the later part of the 90's i crossedover to Jazz and a little RnB. I pretty much settled for the music of Benoit, Tom Scott, Sergio Mendez, Spyro Gyra. And through the years i would listen to my all time favorites like U2, Sting, Everything But the Girl, Hall & Oats, Toto, and Mike Francis.
Today, though, its rare if i can even chance on their music. I no longer listen to the radio, and though i have all the CD's of the musicians mentioned above, i just dont go out of my way to listen to them. Im not anymore after the thrill i get once i listen to Climie Fisher's Rise to the Occassion or the goosebupms i have over 38 Special's Second Chance...these songs have had their tenure in my life and they will always be remembered. And i will always look back to them with fondness and maybe once in a while go back to them for reminiscence of who i was. But not right now.
For now i am more attuned to songs of worship. Never in a million years did i think i would get stuck listening to songs of praise. But i am and everyday for almost two years now, i play the songs of Matt Redman, Don Moen, Hilsong, Mercy Me, Katinas, Bob Fitts, Martin J. Nystrom, Chris Rice, Casting Crowns, and its only now that i have felt such peace. And my attitude when i listen to music is not anymore like i want to get high, its a rest for my soul, a refuge from the world, a moment of prayer.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Throwness
Being in this world submits one to a phenomenon of 'thrownness'. As Sartre aptly puts it ... "man is thrown into existence out of accident lives out of habit and dies by chance" ... a rather pessimistic view but amusing just the same.
This blog, then, endeavors to pursue the meaning of being-thrown-into-this-world from a standpoint of a struggling philosopher who welcomes the encroaching interlude of faith. What once was a mere arcane view of the universe has now become a beautiful possibility of redemption.
Come and experience the pursuit of the everyday where the mundane are made meaningful and the extravagance of space and time are captured into one existential query - who am i?
Being in this world submits one to a phenomenon of 'thrownness'. As Sartre aptly puts it ... "man is thrown into existence out of accident lives out of habit and dies by chance" ... a rather pessimistic view but amusing just the same.
This blog, then, endeavors to pursue the meaning of being-thrown-into-this-world from a standpoint of a struggling philosopher who welcomes the encroaching interlude of faith. What once was a mere arcane view of the universe has now become a beautiful possibility of redemption.
Come and experience the pursuit of the everyday where the mundane are made meaningful and the extravagance of space and time are captured into one existential query - who am i?
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